On May 4, surrounded by dear friends and family, we had a naming ceremony for our sweet Rose. It was, by all accounts, one of my happiest days. Truly. Because, for reasons I'm still trying to understand, if felt very much like the beginning of a new chapter for me ... and for our family. I stood next to the rabbi, our delicious baby girl snoozing in my arms, her feet drying from Eli's most thorough foot washing. And by my side, Peter and our Adam - currently teetering between baby and big boy. Surrounding us were family and dear friends. I had collected photos of women in our family, past and present. Many I had not known, some left us *far* too early, and others, like the baby pics of me in the arms of my young mother, brought back beautiful memories. It was a culmination and a beginning all at once. I wondered at what it means to have a daughter and, as was pointed out to me by someone wise, to be one rung up, making room for generations to come.... And so, our rose is "Vered" - "Rose" in Hebrew. And her middle name honors Peter's paternal grandmother, Frances, who, we are told, was quite a lady.

As part of the ceremony, the rabbi asked us to make promises to Rose. I'm listing them here for posterity:

Lena's promises:
I promise to let you redecorate your room ... when you've saved enough allowance to pay for it yourself
I promise to fill your life with opportunities for adventure and growth
I promise to take you to soccer like your brothers ... as long as you wear a tutu now and then :)
I promise to sing to you and dance with you always, the way we do today
I promise to let you wear something other than pink
I promise love you forever the way I do right now

Peter's promises:
I promise to play dolls with you
I promise to interrogate all future boyfriends
I promise to braid your hair and make even pigtails
I promise to love you with all of my heart
We welcome Rose not only as a daughter but as a baby sister to Eli and Adam and we feel blessed that she has such a loving extended family in her life.

The last month plus has included a Giants game, Passover at our home with dear friends, and Eli planting in our garden. A late night with Uncle Noah and Aunt Jen in SF wishing the fog didn't hide the fireworks over the Bay, Adam new "dumping water" obsession, Google day for Eli, fire truck day for all. And a whole new perspective: Rose "sitting" in her bumbo seat ... with a clip in her hawk :) Next stop: excersaucer!

Rose's naming ceremony: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW
The last month plus: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW

Schtick. Yiddish meaning "bits." And it seems that each of my three has pretty amusing schtick this past month. Yes, even little Miss Rose.

Rose: Rose is 3 months old today and already she has accompanied mommy and grandma on two day-trips to SF for a little retail therapy. And there is something about the lights of a lovely boutique, the colors of the spring lines, the sparkles of the accessory department that bring a rather unique attentiveness from our Rose. Kicking on a blanket while mommy models frocks, holding her head up during lunch in the Rotunda, flashing her newest gummy smile at a salesperson who just has to admire her curl-tipped mohawk. It's only just begun :)

Adam: Big one. Everything is big. Big trucks. Big trains. Big train gates. Big bottle water. Big rig. Big boats. Big stinky poopy. Big helicopters taking off. Big firetrucks. Adam is in that running commentary mode. I had forgotten this phase. If he's not recounting what he did or what he's going to do he is providing play-by-play, with astonishing detail, of exactly what he is doing at that very moment. And usually it involves something very, very big.

Eli: Eli has been planning various trips to Spanish-speaking destinations. He's coordinating incredible itineraries that specify the model airplane he'll be taking (Iberia to Spain, for example), who is coming with him (usually Blanca gets to go because, afterall, she is the most fluent among us) and where he'll go once he's there (duh, to the local train station!). This week he has been going to Spain, Guatemala and Puerto Rico. When I picked Eli up from school on Monday his teacher said, "see you tomorrow Eli, unless you're in Guatemala!" Oy.

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A friend came by last week who hadn't yet met Rose. She visited during the usual mahem that is characteristic of our post-nap, pre-dinner time. We often strive to visit a nearby park, run to exchange our library books or do some necessary errand. But that time of day inevitably involves the playroom, the driveway, the yard, a pair of snuggly sweats and a snack in an on-the-go cup. I was up too late the night before, struggled to stay awake during 4 am pumping and, at that moment, little miss Rose was determined to eat ... again. It was so great to see my dear friend, though I remember wishing we had hours, not minutes, to catch up ... and that things were more calm.

Later that evening, she mailed me to say that, although she knows I'm sleep-deprived and that things are a bit crazy around here, she has never seen me happier. I thought it quite perceptive, not a surprise coming from this good friend. Because it's true. There are little gifts sprinkled throughout my days. And although I would kill for eight hours, would be thrilled not to rush through a meal and long to figure out how to find me time between mommy-time, things are pretty unbelievably sweet these days. And it's true, I've never been happier. Or more content :)

Some of those gifts are worth mentioning:
- Rose gave me her first true smile on my birthday. Just her and me during one of our gazing sessions. And I know it was intentional. The perfect present.
- Eli singing and "reading" to his sister. During mat time, tummy-time, mobile time, Eli is perhaps the most doting big brother. And Rose is one lucky little girl.
- Adam reciting his school alphabet songs. I cannot believe he is TWO! And the sentences we hear from our newly big boy are amazing. "Mommy come downstairs, see Adam, play with my kitchen." That's what my morning greeting consisted of today. With that smile, and those eyes.
- Brothers *thrilled* to share a birthday party, swap toys and orchestrate trades. It could be SO much harder.
- Grandpa, sharing obsure, interesting everything. And continuing to marvel at the family profile carried through to little Rose's button nose.
- Grandma, after 18 years of full-time work has gone part-time. This family of five that is VERY excited about having more of her.
- Girlfriends. Making it out on a "school night" for a birthday dinner so my day didn't get lost between Eli's and Adam's.
- A best friend experiencing motherhood for the first time, raising a boyfriend for my Rose.
- Scrambled eggwhites and tea made for mommy by daddy in the morning. Daily. Too lucky.
- Baby girl bjorned, Eli holding my left hand, Adam holding my right. Astro running in front of us. Waiting for daddy to come home at the end of the day.

The last month: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW
Rose 1 month, Adam 2 years, Eli 4 years: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW

You know when you go about your days and you have this feeling you can't shake. You even forget why you have it. Why everything is somehow sweeter. Why each inhale and exhale are more satisfying than they should be, given your hurried pace. I sat home for 13 days on bed rest before Rose joined our family. And many of those days Peter wondered at how I wasn't going absolutely crazy. Sure, it was really hard listening to the boys frolic downstairs during games of chase and hide-and-seek. And yes, I wish the writer's strike and holiday TV didn't coincide with my respite. But it just wasn't *that* bad. Then, for the third time, without drugs, I managed to deliver our baby girl with a rather accelerated labor (read = excruciating). And again, as painful as it was, it just wasn't *that* bad. Now, 3 weeks later, I haven't had more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep. All of my men have had that horrible winter cold and lingering cough. And this rain has meant no swaddled stroller walks around the hood for me and my baby girl. And yet, everything, even on the hardest days when the older ones are whining and the littlest is hungry NOW, it's all somehow great!

I remember being seven or so when my mother gave a talk at about her father, my grandfather, a man with whom I was extremely close before he passed. My grandfather was a very gentle, quiet man - a sweet soul. One for whom the simplest wildflowers gave him pleasure and for whom family brought him ultimate happiness. As she reflected on him, she talked about how "content" he was and explored the fine line around what the word meant. It was different from happy and was highly underrated. A satiation with life. A fulfillment. I was very little when she gave this speech and yet I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to achieve the contentment my mother admired in my grandfather.

This is all a very long explanation of what I know now. What I feel so profoundly, even with those moments of "3 under 4," wondering when I'll feel like we've mastered zone defense. I have the sweetest, most wonderful sense of completion. Like, in some odd way, our family had been seated at a table of 5 waiting for our fifth to arrive. And here she is! The sweetest, most delicious baby girl I could have imagined. This amazing combination of Eli (with her eyes closed) and Adam (with her eyes open). And all the generations of women before me, including me and of those to come through her. Already turning to big brother voices, drifting to sleep to daddy's silly songs about roses. Snuggling with the sweetest surrender to my cuddle. As Peter has said, "we're all here now." And that is just how it feels. Happy, exhausting, exhilarating, pink! ... and best of all: content :)

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Until two days ago, Peter and I were slowly crossing off items on our "do before baby" list we'd made for these lazy holiday weeks. There were the obvious "buy newborn diapers" tasks but, for me, the list quickly became dominated by favorite outings with my boys. From Caltrain rides to weekend breakfasts at Stacks, I have been there twice before and know that there's an inevitable shutting-it-down that occurs when you're focused on feeding and changing and sleeping with your new, littlest one. For just as I felt in the weeks before Adam's arrival, I find myself terribly sentimental about these last blasts with my boys - sandwiched between Eli and Adam, along-side Peter.

Then I saw my doctor and it seems baby girl in belly is showing signs of being eager to join our happy family a bit earlier than expected. I'm 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated. According to the sonogram, she's about 5 lbs and looks great! But in an effort to get her just a little bigger before her arrival, I'm in bed for the duration, feet up, not lifting anything - including the boys :(

So much for lists! So much for plans! Another life lesson about *letting go* for this mama who thrives on both :) So I’m taking this good, quiet time to reflect on what’s coming for me and our family. You see, I know how sweet the love of a boy is. I know what it feels like to have your youngest little guy blow kisses from his car seat. To have your older little man plant tulip bulbs with grandma because he knows how you love the Spring flowers. What joy comes from watching brothers in post-bathtime, pre-pajama naked play, tackle and hug and high-five. But today, I can only imagine what it will be like to have a baby girl snuggled in my arms, undoubtedly in something pink. And I am thrilled by the unknown. Because what I *do* know is that she has a mama, a daddy and 2 very excited brothers to welcome her with love, whenever she comes. So stay tuned ... and may your new year be sweet, happy and healthy!

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I know this isn't the usual photo - you'll just have to CLICK FOR PHOTOS below to see the latest adventures of Eli and Adam this month. But last weekend I was showered by girlfriends. In a lovely neighborhood flower shop, treated with Alba's taquitos (they TDF) and the most delicious pink cupcakes a pregnant mama could ask for, I was reminded just how special girlfriends are. From her first pairs of shoes, sweat-suit and tutu to snuggly blankets and a lovely print of birdies for her wall, baby-girl-in-belly and mama were spoiled with many shades of pink. Then, together, we each created flower arrangements to take home to our families. Simply girly in every way. I was filled with so much love, such warmth. And, on my drive home, I rubbed my belly and made a little wish - that she experience the love and support of girlfriends in her life as much as I do in mine.

Oh, and as expected, Eli kvelled at the little pink gifts added to the collection in my closet and Adam was most interested in the boxes that they came in :)

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Big monkey flies toy airplanes, little monkey flies them too. And makes the same engine noise. Little monkey is being schooled by big monkey on the difference between an MD80, a Falcon and a 737. And then both monkeys watch the spaceship lift-off ... again.

Big monkey wears orange rain boots, jumps in puddles and seeks out pumpkin patch mud to march through. Little monkey, who does not yet fit the hand-me-down boots, gets his sneakers wet following big monkey.

Big monkey asks little monkey to engage in races of many sorts. Mousie and Foxie back and forth in the baby's room, trucks on the family room mat, trains in the playroom and boys across the turf on indian summer days. Little monkey especially enjoys the "uno, dos, tres, GO" part.

Big monkey takes his place in one of the two cabinets under the end of the kitchen island. Little monkey follows quickly behind him and sits in the cabinet next door. A game of peekaboo ensues. Often airplane trades are involved.

Big monkey, disguised as Rocket from Little Einsteins, rang, said trick-or-treat and screamed thank you after candy was piled in his pumpkin tote. Little monkey first hung back in the red wagon with Foxie but, six houses in, decided to fill his Thomas pail too!

And perhaps because her biggest brother has been encouraging kicks with mommy belly kisses, the tiniest monkey seems to be trying, already, to keep up with the bigger monkeys. Kicks, waves, squirms and rolls day and night. I can only imagine how she'll try to keep up when she's out. My guess? Monkey see, monkey do :)

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... school. 5 mornings a week for Eli means mommytime lunches, afternoons and nights after the littlest Chane is sleeping for fireside snuggles and movie nights.
... words. "pumpkin," "airplane," "pizza" and "bobcat" (think construction, not animal). My personal favorite Adam words. And strung together, we are thrilled to be making sentences! Especially because his big brother cheers for him.
... leaves. Crunch, crunch, stomp, stomp, raining leaves from piles makes backyard play feel more like Fall, even when it's eighty and sunny.
... wrestling. In the Thomas tent. Before bath. After bath. On Eli's bed. Brothers are best friends, according to Eli. And Adam says "yea" to pretty much everything Eli asks.
... Jewish music. Since Eli started his monthly Jewish class he has memorized his Jewish song CD, asks everyone (yes, including the caught-off-guard Trader Joe's checkout girl) if they're Jewish and reminds mommy to get challah on Friday nights. Oy.
... kicks. They are frequent and low. According to my OB, 3rds often settle lower because, well, space has been cleared out by those that came before her. Somehow it seems like foreshadowing :)
... dancing. Be it Eli and Adam jamming to daddy's cell phone ringtone (Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice) or mommy at the Justin Timberlake show with hot mama friends. Yes, the latter will be filed away as proof that, even when pregnant, wearing sensible shoes, "your mom is still cool" or at least tries to be....
... bunny. Every morning, after snuggles in mommy's bed, Little Eintseins and a check of the weather report, Eli goes into mommy's closet where "bunny" currently resides, waiting for baby. Eli hugs bunny, kisses her and rocks the snuggly he bought for baby. "The baby is still growing in mommy's belly but she'll come out to see you soon" Eli explains quite regularly.
... baby. Adam likely doesn't realize he's bound for middle-childom. But he does lift my shirt and say "baby," providing a kiss, a "gentle, gentle" rub and a "night-night."

And so, we find ourselves gearing up for the holidays - halloween, thanksgiving, hanukkah ... and the ever fun birthday party circuit. Simply amazed that, in no time at all, there will be MORE of us :)

Adam 18 months, Eli 3 1/2 years: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW
The last month: CLICK FOR PHOTOS and CLICK FOR SLIDESHOW

There's something about a child's intuition. Because for the 4-6 weeks or so, as mommy's tummy had grown more obvious, Eli had become rather fascinated by "what" was inside. No, no, he understood there was a baby growing inside and not a puppy or a bear cub like he contemplated when I was pregnant with Adam. But he was more specific with his fascination: "Mommy, is there a penis or vagina growing inside of you? A girl baby or a boy baby?" (Note: this was most humorous when his question echoed through the restroom at the Giants game.) "Well, it's either one or the other but it's probably a boy baby..." I would tell him. "No, I think it's a girl baby. With a vagina" he would respond. As if I needed that 2nd sentence of anatomical detail to understand his hunch. It went like this for several weeks. "Mommy, we should get pink paint for the walls like Eliana has and paint the baby's room. And we should get her a pink bunny." All this detail coming *before* our sonogram on the 22nd.

So at 18 weeks, we went in for the "big appointment" and they said ... girl!!! My response? "Are you sure? Can you zoom in? Freeze frame? Are you positive? Can you look again?" At this point, the sonographer just laughed at me. Peter and I left his office, reassured with photos in hand. The last of the four pics he captured for us, as if to mock my shock, included a zoomed image of her "stuff" with an arrow to the word: "GIRL." And so, with tears of joy, I returned home to my beautiful boys and my mom playing in the backyard to share our news. That a splash of pink was coming into our lives in 2008!!! Eli jumped for joy and insisted that we go buy a pink bunny immediatley "so the baby girl can have something cuddly to sleep with just like my Mousie and Adam's Foxie." And wouldn't you know it? There is just one remaining animal/blankie combo in this particular line: a pink bunny with very floppy ears. And so, the buying has begun :)

PS: Adam now points to my belly (and his own) when Eli asks him where the baby girl is.

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I have not skipped my monthly blog. Ever. Until June. I'm sorry! But after moving June 27, we were very busy getting settled ... and having lots of summer fun! And as you'll see below, I have at least 15 very good reasons. I hope you'll understand :)

1. 1 minute. The time it took for Eli and Adam to fall in love with their new backyard.
2. 2 months. The amount of time I imagine it will take us to unpack. One down, one to go.
3. 3 BBQs. In our first month in our new home we have had 3 big BBQs. There is simply nothing better than firing up the grill, filling the water table, racing push-toys ... or ending the night with a s'more.
4. 4 chompers. Number of teeth Adam is currently getting at once. Ouch.
5. Night 5. I thought we were home free. But on the 5th night on his mattress on the floor (first time out of his crib), Eli realized he could visit us in the middle of the night. Just to say hi.
6. 6 visits. How many times he said "hi" the next night. Oy.
7. 7 days a week. I pinch myself every day to be so blessed in our new home.
8. 8 planes. Eli's fleet: United, Southwest, American, Continental, camo biplane, Blue Angel, Hawaii, Air Force One.
9. 9 million. Number of times Adam has said "tru" for "train" and "truck" ... in the last day.
10. 10 strawberries. Eli eats at least 10 sitting at a local farmer's market listening to live music on a weekend morning. Adam claps along.
11. 11 hours, at least. Can you believe our kids get that many hours every night. No *wonder* they run everywhere they go :)
12. 12 families. 12 tots from Adam's playgroup and their families joined at our home for potluck playtime.
13. Number of bagels I could eat in one week these days. Sad but true. Skip to 15 to see why.
14. 14 bedtime back scratches. My negotiations start here. But usually he gets 30 - 29 for him and 1 for Mousie :)
15. 15 weeks. We're 15+ weeks pregnant with our 3rd, in case you didn't know already!

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